Fractured Proverbs (rejected by the editor)

You can lead a horse to water, but it would be easier to ride him there

You can’t fit a tetrahedron in a polynomial equation

Where there’s a will, there’s someone who knows they are mortal

When one door shuts, it sometimes locks you out

The proof of the pudding is dependent on the amount of rum added

People who live in glass houses should not walk around naked

No news is worrisome

The pen is mightier than the sword unless you’re in a street fight

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow

Money talks but seldom listens

Make hay while the tractor still has gas

It’s better to be safe than out

If you play with fire, you might be in the circus

If the mountain won’t come to Muhammad, then the river probably won’t either

Half a loaf is better than seven sixteenths

Time and tide don’t wait for the traffic light to change

Every cloud has a silver lining, but the jeweler can’t make a ring from it

Don’t throw out the tub with the bathwater

Don’t count your chickens before the fox leaves the henhouse

Blood is redder than water

A ship in the harbor is safe, but one in dry dock is safer

A rolling stone goes where gravity takes it

——

Linked to dVerse Poets Pub — Poetics: The Proverbial, where Merril is hosting and prompted us to choose a proverb or a pair of proverbs. Use them as you wish—as an epigraph or within the poem. Be serious or funny.

23 thoughts on “Fractured Proverbs”

  1. Love this especially; “Every cloud has a silver living, but the jeweler can’t make a ring from it.”💝

    1. Unfortunately, I could no longer afford my proofreader and had to let her go, so time and tide will be waiting a long time.

  2. Hahaha, these are gold. Love this one especially for its dark humor:

    “It’s better to be safe than out”

    If I was drinking water when I read that, I probably would have spit it out from laughing. Great work here!

  3. It seems there are multiple interpretations of “It’s better to be safe than out”
    1) COVID: safe indoors instead of outdoors in the pandemic
    2) LGBTQ: safe in “the closest” instead of “out”
    3) Baseball: safe at a base instead of being called out
    4) Childhood: safe “coloring inside the lines” instead of “coloring outside the lines”
    5) others?

  4. Love your fractured proverbs!!! Reminded of attending live performances in St. Paul MN / Garrison Keillor back in the day. He would have loved these too.

    1. That’s were the idea for the title came from. My brother and I used to do Fractured Nursery Rhymes:
      Hickory dickory dock
      The mouse ran up the clock
      The clock struck one and down he fell
      Suffering minor injuries
      (author unknown)

  5. This is absolutely fabulous, Ron! I love all the proverbs rewritten! Especially: “People who live in glass houses should not work the night shift.” 😀 Well done!

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